Day One!

This blog is called Diary of a chubby chick, because I am chubby! :) Although chubby is actually a compliment at this point! I have upgraded to WOW! in the past few years! So basically, This blog is where I am going to track my progress as I work towards my Lap Band surgery, and wrestle through some horrible things I have gone through in order to find myself.
    You may wonder why I don't try counceling? LOL I have. But I have received some of the best advice from everyday people. Councelors only hear the bad stuff, and I have so much good to say too! But let's start here: I am a down to Earth gal, who has lost control of self. Not due to drugs, or alcohol, but a common necessity....food! And I have battle this my whole life.
     So why at 33 am I trying? Oh please! No one LIKES to be fat! I have tried and tried! and succeeded and succeeded! and keep coming back to this shell of a body that I hate! Right now, at the heaviest I have EVER been, 305, I am a final result of "stopping". I stopped caring, stopped trying, and now, I am trying to care. So any amount or encouragement is welcome! Just please, no Chocolate cake! LOL
    Now before anyone decides to insult me, please remember a few things. First off, no one really wants to be obese. No one says, hey! Three hundred pounds is fun! It is GREAT on the knees! Um, no. Three hundred pounds sucks. There honestly has been a few times where I have wondered if I could make it thu a day. It is depressing and sad. Second, Don't judge me, because if you have never been in my shoes, I don't wana know! And if you have, then I want pics for proof and a coffee date! Third, if I am an inspiration to anyone, Then that is unexpected, but welcomed and wonderful. However, you all and your advice and kind words, is inspiration to me! :)
      So, here is day one.......eventually some dark stuff will be brought up, things that trigger my anxioty and eating. I hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings when that happens, because it is just me realeasing some private pain. It has to be done, and I think, it might make a difference! Have a good night, I am heading home to the three loves of my life!